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About Varied / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester Bart de Ruiter23/Male/Netherlands Recent Activity
Deviant for 1 Month
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Mexxor-Dinair's Profile Picture
Mexxor-Dinair
Bart de Ruiter
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Netherlands
Hi there,

I make abstract stuff, mostly with fineliners, but lately i've been using some pencils as well. Most of my stuff started as just a doodle and became something else, but for some I actually had an idea beforehand of what it should be. Lately I've also taken to writing some poetry, for which I use the same method. Take a look around :)
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Inside of me is a vast nothingness.
Sure, I have some emotion.
But that never is in motion.
I don't feel anymore, I feel numbness.

Numb is the word of every day.
Not madness, not happy.
Not chaos, not crappy.
But I'm numb, it doesn't go away

I want to feel, I want to care.
I need to feel, I need to care.
Why can't I feel, Why can't I care?
I do not feel, I do not care.

Numb is my word, its all I am.
Not love, not hate, not sadness.
Not good, not bad, no madness.
Cold and logical, ready, set, BAM.

I experience life, but not for real.
I watch and learn, I am alone.
I look and see, my life is my own.
There we go, spin goes the wheel.

I want to feel, I want to care.
I need to feel, I need to care.
Why can't I feel, why can't I care?
I do not feel, I do not care.

There goes my life, it leaves me numb.
I do my things, I perform at work.
Emotions are bottled, here is the cork.
No one will know, I'm not that dumb.
Numb
This poem describes more or less a past self of mine.
Loading...
The stone mask breaks, and underneath
My face, it shines bright on its own.
No longer hidden, no longer trapped beneath
Layers oflies, freed from shields of bone.

The stone walls thrown down on the ground.
My heart and mind sing out: we're free!
No longer waiting, not walking around
looking at nothing. Here I am, its me!
I probably will stick to creating some poems in the forseeable future. Lots of things are happpening IRL at the moment and with the amounts of time I put into my drawings I would have no time to take care of everything 
A cold flame roars in my heart.
It warms me up, it tears me apart.
It lives in me, dancing on my grave.
I do not budge, for I am brave.
I feed the flame, I like the taste,
Of misery and pain, I feel displaced.

A cold flame lights my mind.
It freezes me, it makes me blind.
To all that’s good, to all of life.
Its in my back, like a knife.
I feed the flame, I love the flame,
It makes me die, I am to blame.

A cold flame feeds on my bones.
It makes me mad, I throw my stones.
I feel its power in my veins.
Like a horse, the flame holds the reins.
I feed the flame, I am its slave,
It is my rage, a fire within a cave.
Ego broken to pieces, build a wall.
Hide behind it, spy on all.
I make me whole, I rise again.
My past, a ball and chain.
I'll never be free, I'll never fly.
Let me leave, is my broken cry.
I cannot stay, I have to go.
I have my plans, I have my goals.
You're not included, I'm at the controls.
Don't try to stop me, you'll get hurt.
I'm done with you, no longer your convert.

My wings still broken, but no longer lame.
I am renewed, no longer the same.
No longer shy, no longer hidden.
I'll live my life, its not forbidden.
Its a new day, I'll be the hurricane.
I'll fly, I'll rise, I'll shed my chains.

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:iconindra1408:
Indra1408 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2017  New Deviant Professional Artist
Happy early B day!!!Free Birthday Icon :happy birthday: Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - Mini Cupcake -Icon GIF 
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:iconmexxor-dinair:
Mexxor-Dinair Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2017  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Heh, thanks in advance ^^
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:iconindra1408:
Indra1408 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2017  New Deviant Professional Artist
Hello just added you to a post my fav DV artist if that is alright if not I can take you off :)
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:iconmexxor-dinair:
Mexxor-Dinair Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2017  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Hiya, thats fine :)
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:iconindra1408:
Indra1408 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2017  New Deviant Professional Artist
:D
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:iconindra1408:
Indra1408 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2017  New Deviant Professional Artist
Hi again tnx 4 the follow.

By the way just have to say how much I admire the Netherlands (never been but is on my wish list for the future ) as a I saw your local on profile.

Hope to see some more of your cool art in the near future Peace :D
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:iconindra1408:
Indra1408 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2017  New Deviant Professional Artist
Hello thank you for the badge also the drawing above with the wolf running trough the sun is drop dead gorgeous really hope you do more similar in the future.

Your free handednessis something to admire

I will be Now stalking _ watching you.

Peace :D
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:iconmexxor-dinair:
Mexxor-Dinair Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2017  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Hi there,
I'm not sure which drawing you mean, but I'm glad you like it :)
Stalking me is fine |^-^|
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:iconindra1408:
Indra1408 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2017  New Deviant Professional Artist
:D Ill keep your gallery stalked look forward to your updates.

Peace
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:iconj1star:
J1Star Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Keep up the fantastic work with your wonderfully creative pieces :star:
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